


Break Glass In Need Of Emergency

by vampirebanquet



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: M/M, Supernatural Elements, TOO MUCH, older!Pines, too much sexual tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3325994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirebanquet/pseuds/vampirebanquet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six years later, the Pines twins are both eighteen, celebrating their last summer in Gravity Falls before college. Everything was going great until a well-known Dream Demon pops by in a human body. An extremely attractive human body that causes too much trouble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Leave The "Open" Sign On The Door

**Author's Note:**

> i'd like to firstly apologize to alex hirsch. i'd like to also apologize for the innuendos made in this story. i am a sad asexual teenage virgin who likes to joke about sex. so, with that being said, let's move on.
> 
> also, something happened with my computer that messed up the formatting near the end of the chapter.

"Dammit, Mabel, why can't you carry your own suitcase?" Dipper groaned, dragging his sister's suitcase full of clothes up the old staircase. Mabel was too busy carrying a pet pig and talking about all the fun things she'd do this summer. Dipper would have thought that they'd have done everything in the old Oregon town by now, it being their sixth time there.

"Dipper! Don't swear!" Mabel looked at him from the top of the staircase, giving her brother a knowing look. Dipper sighed, reaching the top of the stairs and dropping Mabel's suitcase on the floor.

"You can deal with that now," he said, going off to his own room.

 When the twins turned sixteen, their Great Uncle - ahem,  _Gruncle_ \- Stan had decided that it would be best for them not to be in the same room the entire summer. Mabel was sad about the whole deal; Dipper couldn't have been more happy. Not that he didn't like Mabel, he just didn't like overhearing her boy band music coming from her headphones late at night.

 This was the last summer before Dipper went to college. Mabel had decided to just work at the Mystery Shack, while Dipper actually applied and got into a college. It was still in Oregon, but he knew that after college, he might be too busy to come to Gravity Falls every summer.

"Dipper! Dipper! Do you wanna come to the pool with me?" Mabel said, peeking into her brother's room. Dipper rubbed his temple.

"Mabel, we haven't even been here a whole hour yet. You go ahead, I'll stay back here."

"Whatever. You can join me and Waddles if you fee like it!" she said, walking back down the stairs and out of the house. Even though she was eighteen, Mabel was still the embodiment of a twelve year old. She'd aged well, her hair was longer and straighter, she was taller. Boys always looked at her, but after she had convinced herself that she was putting boy drama on hold, she hadn't looked at them like a hungry Puma.

 Dipper laid back on his back, rubbing his forehead. He knew what the real reason he hadn't gone to the pool was.

 There'd be other teenage boys. 

 When Dipper had turned fifteen, Mabel brought up the casual mention of Dipper never having a girlfriend. And Dipper thought about that. He'd never realized that he hadn't ever looked twice at girls. Besides Wendy, but they were just friends now. But once he  _did_ look, they were all boys. Their hair, their legs, just boys. 

 And Dipper hadn't ever really been okay with it. He hadn't ever told Mabel. Or anyone. Had he ever told himself? Was he gay? Probably. Straight boys don't look at other boys' butts. Dipper had really tried to accept himself, he knew that Mabel would. But he just felt even more awkward and different than usual.

"Ugh, Dipper, stop over-thinking everything, you idiot," he said to himself, sitting up and opening his suitcase. 

" _DIPPER!_ " 

 Dipper jumped, causing the shirts in his hands to fall to the ground. He was quickly embraced in two big arms. 

"Hey, Soos," Dipper said, getting out of the embrace and picking up shirts.

 Surprisingly, Soos still worked at the Mystery Shack, though he did have a girlfriend now. But he was still the man child that the Pines twins had met when they were twelve.

"Dude, it's been one year and you're two inches taller!" Soos said, laughing.

"Yeah, even more lanky than usual, huh?" Dipper chuckled, tossing the shirts in a random drawer. 

"Nah bro, I'm more worried about your hair," Soos said, ruffling Dipper's shaggy brown hair, laughing. "Why aren't you at the pool with Mabel?"

 Dipper grabbed a pile of pants. "Gotta unpack. Plus that place is just a breeding ground for shitty conversations with desperate girls."

Soos leaned against the doorframe. "Mabel's not gonna be happy that you're cursing. But you're right. I've got to get back to work, the Shack closes in an hour so we can pick up something at the diner. Welcome back, Dip."

 Soos walked out, leaving Dipper alone in the room. Gruncle Stan was out getting shirts from Walmart to re-sell in the Gift Shop. Wendy was at college in Florida. Dipper was alone in the house. He would usually love it. Not having Mabel ask him magazine quiz questions (he almost sweated out of his clothes in "who's your celebrity boyfriend?") or Stan on his ass about selling cheap Gift Shop items. But now he just felt lonely.

 Maybe Mabel was right, maybe he did need to be in a relationship. Dipper shrugged it off, heading back downstairs and into the Gift Shop. A few people were looking at snowglobes (they were from Target) and Soos was trying to dust a bear head. Dipper liked the atmosphere of Gravity Falls. Everyone knew each other, strange shit happened, sometimes Soos got drunk on Saturday night and sang Backstreet Boys songs.

 The little bell attached to the Gift Shop door jingled, turning Dipper's attention to the stranger walking in. Damn. He had shaggy dirty blonde hair, dark brown eyes, a few freckles on his face, and he was wearing a strange combination of a dress shirt, bow tie, black skinny jeans, and high top Converse. He looked around twenty, yet was incredibly lanky. But Dipper found him incredibly hot. 

 The stranger turned his head towards Dipper, his eyes lighting up at the same time.

 

"Hey Pine Tree! You know that those 'Open' signs are really helpful, right? Also, I can't drive a car. I learned that! It's by that tree in the front. When did you get so tall?"

 The man reached out to run a hand through Dipper's hair, making Dipper step back, knowing that only one person has ever called him Pine Tree. And he hadn't seen that person in years.

 

"B - Bill?" Dipper looked at the demon, whose face lit up at the mention at his own name.

 

"You remember me, Pine Tree!"

 

 


	2. You Put It On Your -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to make progress with this story, really, i am. thanks to those who read the first chapter. this one is "eh" to me, but i do like it. the next chapter will be full of good things. i apologize to alex hirsch beforehand. sorry, alex. comments also make me so happy, so thank you to the people who commented on the last chapter!

 Dipper grabbed Bill's hand, dragging him through the door that lead back into the house and out of the gift shop.

"C'mon, Bill, we're going to talk," Dipper said as he entered the living room. He let go of Bill's hand, looking at the slightly taller demon, eyeing him suspiciously. 

"Pine Tree, this place  _really_ hasn't changed a bit! Really, I mean look at the wallpap - " 

"Whose body is that? Why are you here?" Dipper interrupted as Bill went over to sit on the old couch. Bill laughed, lounging back on the old cushions.

"Calm down, kid. This is  _mine_ , if you must ask. It took a while to muster up the power to get it together, but this isn't some vessel I thought looked pretty enough," Bill said, motioning at himself. Dipper sat down on a lounge chair, believing Bill about his body. His skin was tanned, his hair was messy and blonde, and his brown eyes were definitely the human embodiment of the dream demon. Dipper needed to stop staring.

"And I'm here because I got bored. Plus, as I said a while ago, I've been keeping an eye on you. And I figured since next summer you'll be busy with whatever you humans do, I'd drop by."

 Dipper sighed, rubbing his forehead. This was going to be more than he had bargained for.

"For how long?" he groaned, looking back at Bill. Bill laughed, picking at the couch fabric.

"For however long I want, silly. It's not like you could really kick me out."

"Says who? If Gruncle St - "

"That old guy? Oh please, kid, I could technically kill any of you Pines - or that man child - in a snap of a finger. He doesn't scare me. Plus I know that you would be too scared to tell your uncle who I am. You know that too, Pine Tree," Bill said smirking and looking at Dipper.

 Dipper ran a hand through his hair, regretting the moment that he'd ever met Bill. Bill laid back on the couch, laying his head on a pillow and draping his long legs over the other edge of the couch. He searched around in one of his pockets, pulling out a single cigarette. 

"Do you have fire?" he asked.

"What? You - you mean a lighter? How do you even _know_ how to smoke?" Dipper asked, tossing Bill a lighter from his pocket.

Bill laughed. "Yet you have a fire-maker."

"It's called a lighter, Bill. And shut up, it's a release. Don't tell anyone. Who taught you to smoke?"

"Some guy I met when I had first got my body. I was kind of out of it, and found this nice guy in a park. He showed me how to do this," Bill said, lighting his cigarette. Dipper stood up, grabbing the lighter from Bill's hand.

"Outside! If Mabel comes home and smells cigarette smoke, she'll rip me apart. C'mon," Dipper said, making Bill follow him out onto the porch. Dipper could hear Bill giggling from behind him.

"Sit down, asshole," Dipper said, sitting down on a wooden rocking chair. Bill did the same, blowing smoke out at the same time. And it killed Dipper because it was incredibly sexily done. Bill watched the smoke blow from his mouth, and opened his mouth to talk again.

"So where is Shooting Star?" he asked, looking at Dipper and holding his cigarette between his index and middle fingers.

"Oh, she's at the pool. But she'll probably realize what a shit hole it is and come home soon."

Bill raised an eyebrow. "The same guy who taught me to smoke used those words."

Dipper blushed a bit, finding it funny how even though he looked like he was twenty, Bill was about as innocent as a ten year old.

"They're not good words, Bill. Don't use them, Mabel will get mad." He watched as Bill took another drag from his cigarette. He didn't care if it was wrecking the demon's human form, he could watch Bill sit there and blow smoke forever.

"Why would Mabel get mad?" a female voice asked. Dipper turned to look at his twin sister, who eyed him and Bill suspiciously. "Who're you?"  

"Shooting Star!" Bill said, putting the cigarette between his lips and hugging Mabel. Dipper groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"B-bill?" Mabel stuttered, backing away a bit and looking at the demon's human form. "Dipper, what'd you do?"

"No, no, I came here myself! To visit!" Bill said excitedly, taking his cigarette from his mouth. "Oh, but you can't tell your uncle. That's what Dipper said."

" _Dipper_ ," Mabel glared at her brother. He shrugged.  "Okay, well Bill, you can stay as long as you like...you just can't kill anyone or anything. And no deals. And you're sleeping in Dipper's room," she said, walking into the house. Before walking though the doorway, she turned around again. "And you don't need to be smoking!"

  Bill smiled, dropping his cigarette and stepping on it.

"Yay! I want to see your room, Pine Tree!" Bill said, looking at Dipper. Dipper hated the idea of Bill staying. Dipper hated the idea of Bill sleeping in his room. Probably because he was an eighteen year old boy scared of what his (gay) hormones would do. He stood up, walking into the house.

"Okay, c'mon."

 

* * * * * * * 

 

"You'll sleep here," Dipper said, dragging an old mattress into his room. Bill looked at it, frowning.

"On the floor? Pine Tree, I'll be here a while. Why not this one?" Bill asked, sitting on Dipper's recently-made bed.

"No, no that's mine. You're not sleeping with me," Dipper said, trying to pry Bill off the bed.

"Aw, come on, Pine Tree! This is more comfortable!" Bill whined, pulling away from Dipper's hands.

"Yeah,  _Pine Tree_ , it's more comfortable!" Mabel said from the doorway, laughing. Dipper glared at her.

"We need to talk," Dipper said, leaving Bill on his bed and taking Mabel into the hallway. "We need to do something about this. He's not sleeping in my bed. Or  _with me_!"

"Dipper, come on. Stop being a baby. Plus, when's the last time you got laid?"

"Mabel! Shut up and don't bring my sex life into this!"

"What sex life? Come on, Dipper. I get more action than you. Plus I think we both know that you'd rather do it with a boy than any girl."

" _Mabel!_ Who - who said that? I'm not having sex with Bill! He's a dream demon!"

"We both know that you like boys, Dipper, you idiot. And he's not going to leave your bed, and it's bound to happen. Now I have to go help Soos out with the gift shop."

  Dipper wanted to complain more, but his sister was already walking away from him. This was all going to be too much. Dipper walked back into his room to see Bill looking through his nightstand table drawers.

"Shit, Bill, stop that," he said, pushing Bill away. Bill giggled, looking up at Dipper from the bed.

"Are these those things that you put on your - " Bill motioned toward his crotch. "The park guy also showed me these when I said that I was feeling free in my new body. He said he has to use them with his girlfriend. I mean, I don't know what they do exactly, but hey, you have them too!"

"Jesus Christ, Bill, put the goddamn condom down. And shut up."

  Dipper probably shouldn't have had condoms handy, because of dream demons and also his lack of sex. When did he even buy those? He grabbed the condom from Bill's hand and shoved it back into the drawer. He sat next to Bill.

"So I can sleep on your bed, yeah?" Bill asked.

"Whatever, Bill," Dipper said, running a hand through his messy hair. Bill smiled.

"I like it when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Say my name." 

 

 

 


	3. Daffodils and Beer and Google

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know what, forget it. alex, take notes. anyways, i think this chapter is pretty funny. quick update, i know, i just had time on my hands today, haha. thank you for commenting and being so kind! also, happy valentine's day! treat yourself! an update might be coming tonight as well.

Dipper woke up with a hand on his face and a hand on his stomach. Neither were his.

"Bill," Dipper murmured, trying to wake the other man (demon?) up. "Bill, wake up. You're hands are on me. Oh, and so are your legs. Great."

Dipper sat up, pushing Bill's legs off of his own. He crawled over Bill and off of the bed, leaving the dream demon to dream. In Dipper's bed. 

"Dipper! Sleep well?" Gruncle Stan's voice almost made Dipper jump. Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Uh, yeah! Great." Dipper was almost at the end of the stairs when he heard a voice call to him.

"Pine Tree! Where'd you go? And where's the bath - I found it!" Bills's voice rang through the house, making Gruncle Stan look back at Dipper.

"Who's that?" he asked. Dipper was thankful that Bill's voice sounded deeper in his human form than his demon form.

"Oh, I just had a sleepover last night. Sleepover? No, more like a, uh, yeah it was basically a sleepover. Just an old friend." 

Stan raised an eyebrow at Dipper and walked off. Dipper mentally slapped himself. Sleepover? It was probably the best thing to call it, though. Dipper trudged back up the stairs, walking back into his room. Bill was digging through his clothes drawers, throwing clothes on the bed.

"Bill!" Dipper hissed, grabbing Bill's arm. Bill looked at Dipper, confused. 

"You - you can't do that! Okay, Stan know you're here now. I'll just, uh, call you - " 

"Richard," Bill said, striaightfaced. Dipper let go of his arm. 

"Richard? Where'd that come from?" 

"Oh, I don't know. Just kinda liked the ring it had to it." 

"Jesus Christ," Dipper mumbled, sitting on the bed. Bill threw a shirt at his face. And a pair of pants. And another shirt.

"All of your clothes are too small, Pine Tree," Bill grumbled, looking back at Dipper. Dipper pulled the clothes off of his face. 

"Wait, I've got some in the closet. Soos gave them to me for my birthday but they were too big." 

Dipper grabbed a grey t-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans from a birthday bag and handed them to Bill. Dipper kept them at the Shack in case he ever lost his clothes from home. Which had happened twice. Bus transport wasn't reliable. 

"There. Try on those and meet me in the kitchen." Dipper paused for a moment. "And remember, you're Richard."

"Right," Bill smiled, walking back into the bathroom as Dipper walked out of the room. 

* * * * * *

"Richard? Are you some old friend of Dipper's that just forgot about him?" Stan said, taking a drink from his coffee mug.

Bill laughed. "Ah, no. We just lost touch. But after hearing all the commotion about Lil' Gideon, I realized that that was Pine Tree! But I didn't come visit then because I was low on money, you see. I finally saved up and came for a visit." 

"Pine Tree?" Stan asked, eyeing Dipper.

"Oh, ah, nickname. Nickname," he said, trying not to punch Bill right then and there. Bill, however, was happily eating pancakes that Mabel that made. He put way too much syrup on his plate so he was fishing the pancakes out with a fork. Dipper hated that he found that cute.

"Hm, an interesting one. Nice meeting you, Richard. I'm gonna go start up the gift shop now. Hopefully we'll have some good customers today!" Stan said, walking out of the kitchen, leaving Dipper and Bill alone. Mabel had gone out to spend a day with her friends. And Gruncle Stan had given Dipper the day off of working or doing chores, so he would have to entertain Bill all day. 

"What'd you wanna do, Pine Tree?" Bill asked beside Dipper, taking another bite of soggy pancake. Dipper laughed a bit.

"Well, you're gonna have to finish those first. And I don't know. We need more groceries since Stan only buys for himself. I might swing by the grocery store later, if you want to come." Bill swallowed his food and smiled. 

"Yes! Have you ever tried the liquid in the brown bottles? Oh my gosh, it's really good. I mean, it makes your head a little woozy, but the good kind, you know?"

"Beer?" Dipper asked as he put his plate in the sink. Bill's face lit up.

"That's what it's called! Yes, that! We need some."

"Whatever. C'mon, let's just go now," Dipper said, grabbing car keys from the counter.

Gravity Falls had plenty of other things to worry about, so grocery clerks didn't care about minors buying alcohol half as much as they should have. Dipper had bought beer before, mainly for parties. But every time Mabel found him even in a slightly tipsy state, she'd scorn him and yank the bottle out of his hands.

* * * * * * * 

"You're a lot better at driving than me, Pine Tree," Bill stated as he put some bananas in the shipping cart. Dipper smirked, pushing the cart along the aisle.

"That's what happens when you learn to drive," he said, turning into another aisle. "What kind of beer do you like?"

"Oh, uh, I don't know."

"Here, we'll just get this kind. It's what I always get," Dipper said, grabbing a case of beer. Bill smirked, slightly leaning against the shopping cart.

"Don't tell Mabel?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Dipper laughed.

"Don't tell Mabel."

Bill was surprisingly doing well at the store, not blowing anything up or killing any old ladies. Yet when Dipper trusted Bill with the shopping cart for a few minutes while he went to get milk, he came back to find several bundles of yellow daffodils in the cart. Bill was still standing next to the cart, though, which was nice.

"Bill, what the fuck are all these flowers doing here?" Dipper said, holding the gallon of milk in one hand and motioning to the flowers with the other.

"They were pretty! And they're yellow!" Bill whined. "We're keeping them."

"Bill!"

"Pine Tree!" Bill said, looking at Dipper. Dipper grunted, pushing the cart towards checkout. He hated how he couldn't resist letting Bill keep the stupid flowers. He hated how he loved how Bill looked in the gray v-neck and skinny jeans and combat boots. He hated how he was noticing all of these things about Bill.

Bill held the flowers in his arms the whole way back to the Shack. He acted as if they were his children, freaking out whenever Dipper hit a dip or hole in the road. 

"What's with the flowers?" Stan asked when Dipper and Bill entered the kitchen. Dipper looked at his (great) uncle.

"Don't fucking ask," Dipper said, putting the milk and beer in the fridge. Stan chuckled.

"Mabel won't like that language. But fair enough. Hey, I'm heading out of town for a few days. There's a badger head that I ordered online a few towns over that I have to pick up. I'm leaving in about an hour, so tell Mabel bye for me. And remember to wear a condom if you have sex and dry the clothes in the laundry room!" Stan yelled, walking out of the kitchen and upstairs. 

"What's sex?" Bill asked, still holding the daffodils. Dipper sighed, grabbing a vase and grabbing the flowers. He put them in the vase, filling it with water and setting it on the kitchen table.

"It's when two people get very close to each other and share... an experience," Dipper said, a blush rising in his cheeks. He started walking into the living room, Bill following close behind.

"Then why do you need the - ah - condom?" Bill asked innocently, perching on the cushioned chair as Dipper laid on the couch.

"Well, if there's a male involved, he um, he puts it on his, you know," Dipper motioned to his crotch, Bill's eyes going wide. "And then he puts that in a, um, hole. You know what Bill, just Google it."

"What's Google? Do I have to use a condom for that?" he asked worriedly. Dipper laughed, running a hand through his hair.

"No, no Bill. Just use the Mabel's laptop later. Let's just watch a Steven Spielberg movie for now," Dipper said, turning on the TV. Bill relaxed in his chair, bringing a blanket over him.

"M'kay, Pine Tree."


	4. Incredibly Handy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have many ideas for how this story is going to be so just bear with me and enjoy these happy bits please. also enjoy the lil' (lotta??) bit of smut i wrote (i apologize beforehand). and over 1000 hits! thank all of you for the comments and kudos!

"So would you like to tell me why there's gay porn in my search history?" Mabel asked, sitting down at the kitchen table across from Dipper. Dipper nearly spit out his Lucky Charms.

" _What?_ " he asked, putting his spoon down in his bowl. Mabel raised an eyebrow and grabbed an apple from the bowl in the middle of the table, peeling off the fruit sticker on it.

"There's gay porn in my search history, Dip. Like I said, would you like to explain?" she started to take a bite of the apple, then stopped. "And do you not know how to have sex?"

 Dipper rolled his eyes. "Psh, what? Of corse I do, Mabel. Why wold you - goddammit."

" _Dipper!_ " Mabel scolded, kicking her brother's shins from under the able.

"Sorry. But it was Bill. He - he asked what a condom was and what it was used for and I wasn't up for that conversation so I told him to use your laptop and Google it."

 Mabel glared at Dipper, rubbing her forehead with her free hand.

"Why mine, though? Of all computers, why not yours?"

"Because some computers also have gay porn on them that a certain demon wasn't invited to look at..."

" _Dipper_!"

"Why are we all yelling?" a voice came from the kitchen entrance. Dipper looked back to see Bill, his blonde hair a mess and he was still wearing Dipper's pajamas (which were too small, as Bill had said many times the night before, emphasizing his exposed ankles from too short pants). He also had on a pair of black glasses, something that neither of the Pines twins had ever seen before.

"Dipper was being stupid. Come sit and have some breakfast, Bill!" Mabel pulled out the chair beside her, offering Bill Dipper's bowl of cereal. "When did you get glasses?"

 Bill took a bite of the cereal, Mabel cutting off Dipper's objections. "Not all of us have perfect human vision, Shooting Star. But they get so annoying so I only wear them sometimes."

"Where'd you get them?" Dipper asked, grabbing an orange from the fruit bowl.

"I'm a demon. I can get anything if I wanted to. Plus the Dreamscape is incredibly handy."

"Hm," Dipper acknowledged, starting to peel his orange. Mabel finished her apple, standing up from the table.

"Well I've gotta go to the mall with the girls again today, so make sure to call me if you need anything. The Shack's closed today since Soos is sick so you and Bill will be the only ones here. Play safe," Mabel winked before walking upstairs to get changed.

"Does she mean no knives?" Bill asked, eating a spoonful of marshmallows from his - technically Dipper's - cereal.

"Uh, sure," Dipper said, trying not to blush. Bill's morning hair and the information of knowing that Bill had not only looked at porn, but  _gay_ porn, was making Dipper think thoughts that he shouldn't have been having.

"Oh, Pine Tree, I used Google."

"Yeah, Mabel told me, Bill."

"Sex is weird. There's also several kinds! Sometimes male and female humans have it, sometimes both are male, and sometimes it's just females. But the male kind seemed most practical. And comfortable," Bill said matter-of-factly, eating the last of his Lucky Charms.

"Bill - Bill can we stop talking about sex?"

"Sure, kid."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"I'm leaving now, Dipper! I'm locking the door behind me and I'll have my cell phone on me! Wear a condom!"

 Bill looked at Dipper from his blanket burrito on the old chair. Dipper was blushing more than ever now.

"Who're you having sex with, Pine Tree?" Bill asked, looking at Dipper with his brown eyes.

"Oh, uh, nobody. She was just joking."

  Bill turned back to watching Ghostbusters as Dipper sighed, hating how condoms kept coming up in conversation. Also how he and Bill were the only ones in the house. Together.

_No Dipper, control yourself, you idiot._

Dipper kicked his blankets off of himself, standing up and stretching.

"I'm gonna go lay down, my head hurts," Dipper lied. He just needed to get out of Bill's presence before he got an accidental boner. Bill looked up at him.

"You're going to bed already? It's only, uh, two in the afternoon!"

"It's just a nap, Bill. Wake me up if you need anything."

  

  Dipper felt himself being awoken by somebody shaking his shoulder gently. Dipper looked over to see Bill laying beside him. Great.

"What'd you need, Bill?" Dipper said groggily, pushing hair out of his face.

"Have you ever had sex, Pine Tree?" Bill asked innocently. Fuck, Bill didn't really understand what sex was. 

"Uh, um, yeah once." Dipper tried rolling back over. Bill grabbed his shoulder gently.

"How do you know how to have it? Or who to have it with? Or when?" Bill pushed his glasses up his nose.

  Dipper sat up, crossing his legs and looking at Bill.

"Normally two people have sex when they really like each other, and, I don't know, it just kind of happens.

"How do you tell someone that you want to have sex with them?" Bill asked, leaning back on Dipper's pillows, the afternoon sun making his blonde hair even brighter than usual.

"Uh, sometimes one of the people just starts it. Like kissing and shit. Jesus, Bill, why are you interested?" Dipper asked, scratching the back of his neck.

  And that's when he was pushed back, Bill on top of him, catching his mouth in a sloppy kiss. Dipper kissed back, helping Bill to coordinate the kiss better. Dipper grabbed Bill's hips, helping him position himself better on Dipper's lap. Bill wound his arms around Dipper's back, his long legs wrapping around him also.

"Fuck," Dipper moaned, Bill pulling slightly away from his lips, his cheeks flushed red.

"Ah, Pine Tree, I'm so sorry - I - I don't really want sex right now... but there was something I wanted to try," Bill stumbled over his words. Dipper pulled Bill back to him.

"Then try it," he mumbled against the blonde's lips. His erection was growing, and he noticed that Bill's was too. Dipper tried to lift his crotch to rub against Bill's getting a moan out of the older boy. Bill was fumbling with Dipper's belt buckle, laughing a bit when he couldn't get it undone. He finally did, sliding Dipper's shorts off and shortly his boxers also.

"Touch me," Dipper said, blushing after he said so. Bill giggled.

"Like this?" he said, running a finger down Dipper's shaft. Dipper bit his lip, almost calling him a tease, but stopping after he felt warm lips around his head, laying back on the bed. Bill grabbed Dipper's sides, working his head around Dipper's cock, running his tongue over the head. Dipper pulled Bill's head up, looking at his eyes.

"You need to take your pants off too," he said, and the dream demon did, sliding his too-short pajama pants off and releasing his erection.

"M'kay, now come back," Dipper said, pulling Bill back towards him, kissing him again. This felt good. The last time Dipper had  had a blowjob was in the back of a shitty club earlier in the school year. This was better. More intimate. Because he actually liked Bill.

  He ran his hands through Bill's shaggy hair as the blonde sucked on his cock, making Dipper release into Bill's mouth without warning. And, to his surprise, Bill actually swallowed it. Dipper brought him up for a kiss, their tongues together and Dipper flipped them over, putting himself into Bill's previous position.

"I want you to say my name," Bill said quietly as Dipper ran a tongue up Bill's length. He smirked.

"What'd you say,  _Bill_? You want me to suck you off, hm Bill?"

  He heart the blonde boy whimper as he took Bill's head into his mouth, going deeper as the other boy moaned. It wasn't long until Bill was coming in Dipper's mouth, saying a quiet 'fuck' as he did so. Dipper swallowed, going back up to kiss Bill and wrapping his arms around him.

"You can try that more often," Dipper said, burying his face into Bill's neck. Bill giggled.

"Sure, Pine Tree."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Reality Is An Illusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had major writer's block and major homework so that's my excuse for not writing. but since the last episode wrecked me, i've decided to write another chapter. thank all of you for the comments because they make me happy !! it's also my spring break so i'll probably update at /least/ once this week. this chapter is kind of a fluffy filler, but the plot will get running soon.

 Dipper woke up to the sound of Mabel yelling up at him to come and get dinner. He groaned, realizing that he was only wearing a t-shirt. He got out of the bed, careful to not wake up a still-sleeping Bill and grabbed his underwear and a pair of basketball shorts.

"I bought fried chicken because I'm not cooking you mac 'n' cheese again," Mabel said, looking up from her chicken. Dipper sat across from her at the table, running a hand through his unruly hair. He grabbed a piece of chicken and set it on a paper plate.

"Where's Bill?" Mabel asked casually, setting a chicken wing on Waddles' plate. Why did she let a pig sit at the table again?

"Oh, uh,  _weaccidentallygaveeachotherblowjobsandhe'sasleepnow_." The sentence came out in one long breath.

"You did what now?" Mabel asked wide-eyed. Dipper tried to hold back a blush. It didn't work.

"I had oral sex with a dream demon. It was surprisingly amazing."

" _Dipper!_ " Mabel said, throwing a napkin at her twin. "You actually had some kind of sexual relation with someone else. You know, I was  _not_ counting on that to happen, bro."

 Dipper stared at his sister.

"Huh?"

"Dipper," Mabel said dramatically. "It's chill. I mean - don't tell Stan because  _why would you_ \- but I'm happy for you."

 Dipper's blush faded a bit. He bit into his chicken wing. At least Mabel wasn't freaking out like he'd imagined. It could've been worse. Glitter. Flames. Wedding invitations sent to the entirety of Gravity Falls.

" _Pine Tree_ ," a voice drawled from the kitchen doorway. Dipper subconsciously turned to respond to his nickname. Bill was standing there, his glasses nowhere to be seen - nor his pants. He was wearing one of Dipper's shirts with his underwear.

"Woah, Bill, pants next time, 'kay? Have some food though," Mabel said, giggling a bit. Bill slipped into the chair beside Dipper, rubbing his eyes as he took the plate that Mabel handed him.

"Pine Tree," Bill said, his voice still laced with sleep, "why'd you leave?"

 Dipper felt a horrible blush rising again. He fiddled with his hair, raking back again with his hands. "I - uh - was hungry, Bill."

"Oh okay," Bill said, beginning to eat his food. Mabel smiled to herself.

* * * * * * * 

"We're not watching that shit, Mabel," Dipper said, throwing himself down on the couch. Mabel frowned from the pile of DVDs where she  was at.

"But 'Pretty In Pink' is a  _good movie_!" she complained, waving the case in the air. Bill giggled from beside Dipper. He was still in his underwear, bundled up in three blankets.

"We can watch that if you like it, Shooting Star," Bill said innocently. Dipper glared at him.

"But - " Dipper started.

"Shut up, Pine Tree," Bill said, laying a hand on Dipper's chest. Dipper bit his lip.

"Fine."

 Mabel put the DVD in the DVD player, smiling as she sat down in the old armchair. She looked around her.

"Bill, toss me one of those blankets," she said. She caught one of the blankets that Bill had had wrapped around his body.

"Can I have one too?" Dipper asked, trying to grab one of the blankets. Bill looked at him, holding fast to the blanket.

"We'll share."

* * * * * * *

"Love is just a stupid illusion," Dipper complained as Mabel came back from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn. Granted, he was underneath a blanket with Bill, who was slowly falling asleep, his long legs intertwined with Dipper's.

 Mabel huffed, sitting back down. "Shut up Dipper and just watch the movie," she said, pressing the PLAY button on the remote.

 Dipper felt Bill's steady breathing against his chest.

"Reality is an illusion," Bill mumbled, turning to bury his head into Dipper's chest.

 


	6. Nightmares and Cigarettes and Ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my spring break is almost done so i'm crying. but i'm starting to piece my plot together and i hope it's not as bad as i'm thinking it'll be. please give me opinions, i thrive off of them.  
> i'm such a sad asexual piece of trash.

 When you're young your mom comes in to check for monsters underneath your bed. You run to her, knowing that she'll get rid of the bad dream that you woke up from. You turn on the light and everything illuminates and suddenly nothing is scary anymore.

 As you grow older, you realize that there isn't a mother to run to and that you don't always wake up before a knife impales you, leaving you in your dream state, feeling the blood drip down your t-shirt.

 At least, that's what Dipper Pines knew.

"You - you  _sick bastard_!" Dipper gasped, clutching his chest. He had been impaled by the shadowy figure, but he wasn't dying. Why wasn't he dead now? "I swear to God - " he fell over a branch in front of him while trying to get to the figure.

 Was it a man? A beast? A mix of the two? It was incredibly tall - and incredibly well with sharp weapons. It was like a child of a Harry Potter dementor and some computer glitch. It was shadowy and dark - yet it would suddenly disappear and come back in no time. And it had been haunting Dipper's dreams for far too long.

"You know, this is really messed up," Dipper said, all of a sudden forgetting about his chest to try and find a rock to throw at the creature. He was sweating and his clothes were ripped and bloody. He found a rock and chucked it at the creature's face. It disappeared and came back after the rock had his the forest ground.

 Dipper clutched his chest as a knife impaled his back, bringing back the pain in his chest and now his back.

" _God dammit!_ " he yelled as he slightly turned to see another creature.

"Pine Tree, be quiet," Dipper heard a voice beside him. He looked over to see Bill with bed-head and - in his bed? Dipper looked around. Moonlight dripped from the windowpanes and he was tucked underneath his white sheets.

"What? Bill?" Dipper sat up and looked around. He looked down at his chest. No wound, no blood, yet there was a slight pain in his ribcage.

"Yeah, Pine Tree? Why'd you have to wake me up?" Bill rubbed his eyes, sitting up beside Dipper. Dipper looked at Bill.

"I - uh - had a bad dream. It's nothing," Dipper was trying to reassure himself more than Bill. He kicked off his sheets, crawling out of bed, leaving a confused Bill sitting up and half-awake in his bedroom.

 Dipper walked into the kitchen. According to the microwave clock, it was one in the morning. Dipper rubbed his forehead, opening the fridge and grabbing a beer bottle. He made his way to the front door, walking outside to the porch, sitting down in one of the rocking chairs. Everything was so still. The trees rustled with the weight of the light wind. There was a slight dew on the ground. So different from his dream.

 He turned his head to see Bill walking outside, soon sitting beside him in the rocking chair beside him. Bill snapped his fingers, the cap of Dipper's beer bottle popping off and falling to the wooden porch floor.

"We both need it," Bill said, pulling out a cigarette from thin air. It was already lit, a puff of smoke coming from Bill's lips as he pulled it from his mouth. "What was your dream about?"

 Dipper tapped his fingers on the bottle. "It was - "

"Don't tell me nothing, kid," Bill said, his blonde eyebrows raising as he pressed the cigarette to his lips again. Dipper looked down at his feet.

"I got stabbed. By these ghost, uh, things. But I wasn't dying. Just bleeding everywhere." He drank the beer as Bill pulled the cigarette from his thin lips, exhaling smoke.

"That's strange. Normally if something wants to actually kill you in your dreamscape, you'll die. That's why people die in their sleep, Pine Tree. But whatever was, er, stabbing you, is trying to play with you."

" _Play_ with me?" Dipper asked, taking a larger gulp of liquid. Bill grabbed his bottle from him, taking a drink himself.

"They want to see what you're capable of. If you'll go crazy or not. I don't know, Pine Tree, I'd be nervous if I were you," Bill said, shrugging and handing the bottle back to Dipper. Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Thanks, Bill. What a pep talk," Dipper said, rubbing his forehead again. Bill laughed quietly beside him.

"Any day, Pine Tree," he said, leaning over the gap between their chairs and kissing Dipper on the lips. The taste of nicotine and alcohol being exchanged between the two. Dipper set his bottle beside the chair while still making contact with Bill, using his now free hands to grab Bill's face, his fingers tracing over the cheek bones, the veins, everything. Bill pulled away, leaning back in his chair, taking another drag.

"You kiss like you want to get drunk on me, Pine Tree," Bill said, casting his brown eyes on Dipper. Dipper grabbed his beer bottle again, looking at the blonde.

"Maybe I do."

 

 

 

 


	7. Think Of Good Thoughts, Think Of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw you start a fic and then forget to update and get inspiration at the end of summer. i sincerely apologize to everyone who reads this, i really will try to update more !! thanks for all of the comments and support :-)

Dipper woke up in the uncomfortable position of having spent the past night in a  _rocking chair_. He opened his eyes to see Bill in the other chair, his burnt out cigarette on the porch decking, the beer bottle laying down by his feet. 

 

"Any more bad dreams?" Bill asked, his eyes still closed. Dipper sat up straight, running a hand through his hair.

 

"Surprisingly, no. Some neck soreness though," he laughed a but, rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn't wrong, either, because wooden chairs don't make good pillows.

 

Bill finally opened his eyes, then brought his hands up to rub them. "Well in that case, we should celebrate. Let's go to that diner with that lady who only has one eye open."

 

Dipper raised his eyebrows at the blond. "You mean Susan?"

 

"That's it, that's it. Anyways, let's go. I'm hungry and my back hurts. How do you put up with this?" Bull asked, standing up out of his chair and looking over his shoulder at Dipper.

 

***

 

"So it's basically a chicken fetus?" Bill asked, looking down at his scrambled eggs. Dipper gave the boy sitting across from him a blank stare. 

 

"Well, I mean - it was never _fertilized_  so it never would have become a baby," Dipper said, trying to explain. Bill took a bite.

 

"Fertilized?" 

 

"Uh," Dipper blushed, "the egg didn't have male and female genes."

 

"That's sex, right?"

 

Dipper's eyes widened. "Bill! Be quiet! But," he looked at his hands, "uh, yeah."

 

Bill smiled. "I wouldn't mind having that with you, Pine Tree," and Dipper swore Bill's voice got huskier.

 

"Ah, erm, _lovely_ as that sounds, I think a monster in the Dreamscape trying to kill me is on our list of priorities right now," Dipper said, cutting into his pancakes. Bill rolled his eyes.

 

"The best idea is just to know how to fight it off, so number one rule is to _not be afraid_ alright? It can probably sense fear, whatever it is. And it feeds off of bad thoughts, so go to bed with happy ones." Bill took another bite of his eggs. "Which shouldn't be hard with me around," he finished, winking. Dipper bit the inside of his lip.

 

"Stop flirting with me!" Dipper protested, his face growing red. Bill laughed, prodding Dipper's shin with his foot.

 

"You like it."

 

***

 

"So the ones with the gnomes or the ones with the minotaurs?" Soos asked, looking at the computer screen. Dipper looked at the shirt options.

 

"Gnomes. Kids love gnomes," Dipper said, watching as Soos ordered fifty of the shirts. Someone had to stock Mystery Shack merch.

 

"I think I just sold the stuffed antelope to that lady," Bill said, walking up to Soos and Dipper. Dipper's eyes widened.

 

"Wait, the one that's been for sale for _three_ years?" Soos asked, looking at Bill. Bill smiled.

 

"Yup, and you're probably gonna have to carry it out to her car now."

 

Soos immediately got up to go help the woman and Bill wrapped his arms around Dipper's waist. Dipper looked over his shoulder.

 

"Wha - "

 

"I think since I've been working here that I should be _rewarded_ don't you think?" Bill whispered into Dipper's ear, slowly rubbing crotch on Dipper's butt. _  
_

"I uh - " there was Bill's crotch again "hey Soos, I'm gonna take a break!"

 

And that's how they ended up on Dipper's bed with Dipper straddling Bill, completely naked. Bill brought Dipper's head down so their lips could meet, biting the bottom lip and eliciting a moan from the brunette. Dipper pulled away, getting off of Bill and trailing kisses down Bill's stomach.

 

"Dipper, _fuck_ ," Bill moaned as Dipper ran a tongue over his dick, and eventually taking the entire thing into his mouth. Hands were balled into the sheets and clasped onto hips. 

 

Dipper started to bob his head, running his tongue under Bill's shaft, bringing his head up enough to blow on the head, making Bill suck in a breath. He continued the process, his fingernails dug into Bill's tan skin and his tongue _everywhere_ where Bill wanted it to be. And the said tongue eventually drove Bill over the edge, making him come in Dipper's mouth without warning, making Dipper swallow. Bill's head was thrown back, his grip on the sheets loosening. He opened his eyes, finding Dipper's own hand on his own dick, his mouth giving of little moans.

 

Bill made eye contact with Dipper, smirking as Dipper's hand worked faster. Bill kissed Dipper, his mouth moving down to his neck. "Come for me. Say my name."

 

"B-Bill, _shit_ ," Bill was most definitely making a hickey now "I'm gonna - gonna - "

 

Bill pulled away to see Dipper coming on his own stomach, white streaking the pale skin. Bill bent down to lick some of it, and back up to Dipper's neck.

 

"Remember to think good thoughts, Pine Tree," Bill mumbled against Dipper's skin.


End file.
